Wednesday, November 30, 2011

conceit

tired monks
real novices

lovers blood mixed
inside a flea

thugs thumpers...
real pain
from being stretched
by empty masked wrestlers

reality shall come to pass
but, remember
even the most conceited conceits
will accept a Christmas card


d'verse...check it out



Afterword:

I first learned about the concept of conceit while studying John Donne The Flea ...allusion.  It is by far my most commonly used device...wink.
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15 comments:

  1. hedgewitchNovember 30, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    Second stanza--poem in itself. Each line brings a sharp intake of breath in reading--and your final lines sum up the odd often distorted mix of fantasy and reality, greed and spirituality, this season truly is.

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  2. Kat MortensenNovember 30, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    I like the construction of this, but I feel like I am on the outside of an inside joke. Really like the line about the lovers blood.

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  3. Kerry O'ConnorNovember 30, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    Thank you for linking your poem to today's challenge on Real Toads. I thought your final stanza most metaphysical in its coming to grips with 'reality'.

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  4. Sherry Blue SkyNovember 30, 2011 at 11:08 AM

    Some great lines in this, Ollie. I was a bit alarmed about the masked wrestlers - I hope the tired monk didnt get mugged!

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  5. JinksyNovember 30, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    Now you have me imagining vampire fleas... :)

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  6. UnknownNovember 30, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    wow, this has a few kicks in it for sure. You had me stopped in my tracks for a moment thinking on the mixed lover's blood inside the flea. What a thought! And, then you had me laughing at the end. Your voice is nothing if not completely unique. It's always nice to be visiting here again :)

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  7. Brian MillerNovember 30, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    dude love the blood in the flea is awesome...sometimes a christmas card might bridge that gap...

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  8. Mike PatrickNovember 30, 2011 at 4:36 PM

    This is probably what a metaphysical poem is supposed to be. It's like stuffing lightening in a jar.

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  9. Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis HallNovember 30, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    true,

    Merry Christmas.

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  10. Kenia SantosNovember 30, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    I'm going with Jinksy's thougths of vampire fleas. Conceits often let me out of the game. I have this friend who writes really puzzling poems, filled with lots of metaphors, he challenges me to discover what he's actually talking about but when writing metaphors, one doesn't always expect the other to get them straight, does he? I go long ways with my thoughts, some people think I should stop thinking. This conceit will keep me busy for quite a long time.

    xoxo

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  11. EllaNovember 30, 2011 at 8:12 PM

    Many complex puzzles in this one! Very clever and so true~ I love your take on the prompt!

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  12. Raining IguanasNovember 30, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    OO, you lead me to knowledge and quenched thirst. Six pages of explanation for a flea bitten poem. Oh, but I am full and smiling. And better for the visit here. I thank you.

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  13. Old RavenDecember 1, 2011 at 12:27 AM

    And ... it got you there. :)

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  14. ScarletDecember 1, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    Like the concept...you got it ~

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  15. Ostensible TruthJanuary 2, 2012 at 9:55 AM

    this - "reality shall come to pass
    but, remember
    even the most conceited conceits
    will accept a Christmas card" and "lovers blood mixed
    inside a flea" is brilliant! the whole thing is - I also learnt of the conceit (or most noticed it anyways) through Donne - "the sun rising" I think it was, "the flea" is a great poem too - nice work!

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Thanks for helping with the development of Olsonomics.

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