Thursday, September 10, 2015

Redemption 6

i)

fists are flying
darting out
over smoke puffs
and fury

gym teacher whistle
slices through the taunts

  crowd scatters

hides


ii)

alone
post fight rest
writing
bleeding hand poems

Posted by at

17 comments:

  1. Sherry Blue SkySeptember 10, 2015 at 1:04 PM

    "writing bleeding hand poems" - yes, this sounds like school.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MarySeptember 13, 2015 at 9:07 AM

    You have given us another view of 'school' here!

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  3. Sanaa RizviSeptember 13, 2015 at 9:33 AM

    Such a vivid depiction of the experiences of school life.. I like the closing.. it sets the mood. Have a nice weekend!

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  4. Sumana RoySeptember 13, 2015 at 10:27 AM

    " crowd scatters

    hides"...haha..well captivated

    ReplyDelete
  5. brudbergSeptember 13, 2015 at 12:28 PM

    Oh.. I know what part of school I don't miss.. Though I love poem that bleeds.

    ReplyDelete
  6. SuyashJSeptember 13, 2015 at 1:22 PM

    writing
    bleeding hand poems


    i so relate to this.... well done

    ReplyDelete
  7. DonnaSeptember 13, 2015 at 3:58 PM

    that whistle sliced through many a crowd when i was in school...loved the ending image.

    Donna@LivingFromHappiness

    ReplyDelete
  8. TruedessaSeptember 13, 2015 at 8:01 PM

    I remember fights in school everyone would come to watch and I always wondered why? Then a teacher would come and everyone would run.

    ReplyDelete
  9. GailSeptember 13, 2015 at 8:07 PM

    When I was a child this happened a lot but now they lock down every thing if there's a fight.

    I could see it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Rosemary Nissen-WadeSeptember 14, 2015 at 2:27 AM

    How quickly it can happen! Great finale.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jae RoseSeptember 14, 2015 at 9:13 AM

    Writing is the best revenge - although it is hard to see that when PE is on the timetable

    ReplyDelete
  12. Marcoantonio Arellano (Nene)September 14, 2015 at 11:39 AM

    playground adolescent banters and 'boys will be boys'

    ReplyDelete
  13. kaykualaSeptember 14, 2015 at 12:07 PM

    It was playful nothing serious. They licked their wounds after that and became friends again. Writing would follow for some. Seen this before!

    Hank.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Gen Giggles September 14, 2015 at 5:58 PM

    Friends again soon after. Playground scrapes are good fodder for writing though.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Joshua Sutherland AllenSeptember 14, 2015 at 10:13 PM

    I really like the contrast between the two stanzas: action vs. alone and resting.

    ReplyDelete
  16. XSeptember 15, 2015 at 6:50 AM

    Everyone enjoys a fight in school,
    it breaks the day up. I am glad you have writing as an outlet
    for all the pain afterwards. FIghting is not he best
    way but if you cant protect yourself you
    are easy prey.

    ReplyDelete
  17. J.N.T.September 16, 2015 at 10:42 PM

    this was a short, mid-violent, lovely write! i enjoyed it! really!

    ReplyDelete

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