are gravel
ditches deep
cars whip n'fishtale
around the curves
fire n'up mighty dust clouds
teenage boys
smash mailboxes
with teetering mighty swing
bat smashing
when you drive by
neighbours lift their eyes, wave
they know you
and your family secrets too
abandoned shacks
linger in the forest
great place to sneak smokes
kids ride their bikes
on ancient cow paths
with hockey card spokes
this is home
I love this. Great descriptions. You are definitely in your characters' minds!
ReplyDeleteI love a country home in a country town! You captured it well in your words Ollie! :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat snapshot!
ReplyDeleteAll the flaws and all the virtues. You nailed 'em.
ReplyDeleteVery nice, the hockey card spokes, the cow paths , I remember it all...though so many years ago how...blessings...bkm
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this, I wanted to visit your home, have the expreince drawn in here
ReplyDeleteI think I know some of those same teenaged boys, and the places they sneak their smokes, too. (And so do my neighbors.) Well done.
ReplyDeleteYou vividly catch the whims of youngsters around us
ReplyDeleteBeautifully told and I'm happy to read about it..give me city livin' mon...regardless of how weird it is..I thank God everyday for modern conveniences and hot running water.
ReplyDeleteSuch a descriptive piece - I can see everything you've shown me here. Nice One Shot, Ollie!
ReplyDeletefine descriptive passages, with a quirky edge. I would't have it any other way. Brilliantly written in my opinion. I don't often use the word 'brilliant'. You really conjured the place here. It's vivid it my mind, fresh like wet paint.
ReplyDeleteGreat read
Luke @ WordSalad
Vivid flashes of imagery give the full picture of the “country home” and the people in it -- beautifully done! I enjoyed the read.
ReplyDeleteI live in the country and absolutely love this piece. Nice one shot. Love and Light, Sender
ReplyDeleteAh, small town life - you nailed it. Great line breaks, effective/excellent word choices - spare, not too wordy.
ReplyDelete