Thursday, October 21, 2010

Take Out the Adjective

a human surge
crushing down the hall
with locker smash a'bash
metal thunder

combat girls spitting fury
all big clunky swings, and screams
hay makers met with
dashing rabbit punches
on light boxer feet
flicking punches
rattle teeth, close eyes
black bruising blood
drips

mob cheers
"that was a beautiful fight"

take out the adjective

7 comments:

  1. Loved this - your well-chosen, well-placed words lifted the sights and sounds right up off the page. What is wrong with our world that we can call a bruising, bloody fight beautiful, and then turn around and call a naturally wrinkled 90-year-old ugly?

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  2. Your poem packs a punch! So true! Love the last line.

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  3. Like a jab, a knockout punch!! I felt the blows like I was there.

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  4. KO, you did a great job, beauty is in the eye of the beholder~

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  5. I'm a pacifist. But your words are quite beautiful!

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  6. :o
    The first stanza is freaking genius!

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