Tuesday, April 26, 2011

on the pitch

on the pitch
novices smash
muscle and blood
in the steady rain

jerseys tear
throaty yells echo

sweat and rattled teeth

a try
Posted by at

16 comments:

  1. signed...bkmApril 26, 2011 at 10:31 AM

    jerseys tear...the teaming of monks - whose team chants louder and longer....bkm

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sherry Blue SkyApril 26, 2011 at 10:57 AM

    Good one, Ollie! Can hear the throaty yells and rattly teeth!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. hedgewitchApril 26, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    Yeah,there's only one contest, really, whatever color the jerseys.

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownApril 26, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    What I enjoy about your minimalist style is that you provide a guideline for the scene and allow me to fill in the rest, much like how a movie script is a wire frame that a director can flesh out.

    Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brian MillerApril 26, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    you captured the fierce beauty of that moment of man unleashed....

    ReplyDelete
  6. steveroniApril 26, 2011 at 8:45 PM

    That's the way--rough and tough. Excellent OSW!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Bing YapApril 26, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    i can feel adrenaline rush... great piece!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Human ParadoxApril 26, 2011 at 10:44 PM

    A great game this is, played by the toughest monks. Good description Olie.

    ReplyDelete
  9. TimoteoApril 26, 2011 at 11:29 PM

    Ya load sixteen tons, and whaddya get...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Elizabeth YoungApril 27, 2011 at 12:53 AM

    Love this very effective short verse that tells an entire story! Great.

    ReplyDelete
  11. S and JApril 27, 2011 at 10:33 AM

    just love it - all the power of scrummage and run and tackle and try captured in so few words.

    ReplyDelete
  12. BubbaApril 27, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    "You do, or you do not... there is no try."
    - Mr. Miyagi, "The Karate Kid" (the original)

    ReplyDelete
  13. LauraApril 27, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    love the whole piece by the last line especially: "a try"

    ReplyDelete
  14. John (@bookdreamer)April 27, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    Having stood on a rugby game touch line with November mists and chill for company, this scene was called up by the words and felt in the memory

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anita MagdalenaApril 27, 2011 at 4:46 PM

    So much imagery of the game in so few words, well done.

    Anita.

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownApril 27, 2011 at 10:23 PM

    i agree with so many of the comments before mine -- a few words, and yet, an entire story.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for helping with the development of Olsonomics.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)