Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Brick House Grind Down

slip outta the car
stand in the parking lot
stop listen - hum of cars
day is cold -4
frost is thick and white
it mostly covers the graffiti.
look down at the debris
chucked from windows above:
rulers, math sheets and pencil crayons
- no stapplers today -
rusty beer caps and brown glass
little weed bag blows, swirls by the door
walk past the massive wall
all those bricks look heavy
breath a stage sigh - huff - and walk in

18 comments:

  1. dynamic and compact words...
    beautiful poetry.

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  2. http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/10/poetry-potluck-love-and-romance.html

    Hello,
    I invite you to participate at our Monday potluck party,
    Link in a poem to share, or write a poem fitting our theme of love and romance, thanks for the attention,
    If you follow our blog, we will place your link in our blog roll.
    Happy Monday!
    Happy Poetry Writing and sharing.

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  3. Very acute observation, Ollie. Could see it all.

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  4. Oh dear! I hope your next poem tells us about your LOVELY surroundings! Only joking!

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  5. Wow, Ollie you took me directly to the scene.
    Pamela

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  6. Good stuff man. I find it evocative of some of the imagist poetry i've read recently.

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  7. Nice noticings and details make this a pleasurable read.

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  8. Brings forth descriptive images,Thanks for sharing Ollie

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  9. Wonderful writing as always, Ollie.

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  10. Really enjoy reading your work...you take us to places unseen and unthought of by many - great write..bkm

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  11. Beautiful poem with vivid imges..

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  12. Really vivid imagery, I could see the scene. :-)

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  13. "all those bricks look heavy" is my favorite line.
    Also "little weed bag blows, swirls by the door." Man, I can see that so realistically in my mind's eye. It reminds me of the shitty neighborhood I lived in growing up.

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  14. Vivid observations, Ollie ^^ Wonderfully written work =D

    -Weasel

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  15. Really enjoyed that. Tightly written.

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  16. It all is so vivid; Great imagery, Well Done~

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  17. Old Ollie,
    A superb piece of observation and first class writing.

    Best wishes, Eileen

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  18. I invite you to join Jingle Poetry Potluck week 17, link in 1 to 3 old poems today, Thanks for the valuable support!

    Potluck Week 17 Treat/Awards 4 You, share, claim, and enjoy !

    ReplyDelete

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