sometimes

Sometimes its like someone took a knife baby
Edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley

Through the middle of my soul

 

sometimes I play this song

maybe a bit slower, more meditative

less youthful passion...you know...I'm old

sometimes my soul is cut

fallen apart -  in twain

I picture lashing myself back together

binder twine

wire

a piece of broken mason's line

packing tape

sometimes I go out looking

for pieces long enough to hold the world together

songs - music

humour, a smile (with one's eyes these days)

a long form discussion 

a kind word

a mission of mercy

a campfire, and a tug of single malt

even a prayer...

...If I can muster one

heavy

i)

"you look like a man with a heavy heart"

heavy soul really

Van Zandt heavy

Kerouac heavy

renegade country music heavy

can't lift my hood heavy

parking lot sad heavy

tears could spill heavy

considering meds heavy

minor chord heavy

tired monk heavy

ii)

follow up piece...poem...

Why are you tired? Why are you the tired monk?

tired of facades

tired of deconstruction

tired of shaving my monk tonsured head

tired of girding up for fights

tired of lies

tired of platitudes - pinned up on posters

tired of hollow virtue signals

tired of meetings, emails, emails about meetings

tired of these tattered robes

tired of being the only monk

tired of this heavy load

tired monk tired

iii)

an anecdote

Student enters the vice-principal's office.  

He knocks on the door - three quick knocks.  

Delivers his line: "Hey I'm tired of this fucking bullshit. (pause) I'm outta here."

Student runs off down the hall.  

The VP pursues...a futile act.

The Student exits via the main doors, and hops on a downtown bus.