Wednesday, February 2, 2011

off message

i.

temple halls, rooms
all drafty chilled
snow rips
fast under door cracks

lil'novice monks gather
hot tea
kitchen fire light tales

ii.

tales of the tired monk's
fighting days
all back lots, taverns
field party fists
beer bottle bashing
novices lean forward
lost in gritty details

iii.

the abbess looks in
steaming disapproval
...off message?

iv.

the tired monk
finishes the tale
"young ones:
move from punches to poems"

5 comments:

  1. That has to be the most amazing lesson and ending for a tale!

    Beautiful work, Ollie! =*

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  2. Love that message: "move from punches to poems". Nice save!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Despite the virtue, and encouragement therein, a little bit of wistful nostalgia, perhaps?? Ah, those were the days!

    Stories within stories, and very nicely written!

    Rick

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great one Olie. A good lesson. Punch the air with words.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Perfection. And then they won't. Now. But in time.

    xo
    erin

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for helping with the development of Olsonomics.