Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Country Home

up here the roads
are gravel
ditches deep

cars whip n'fishtale
around the curves
fire n'up mighty dust clouds

teenage boys
smash mailboxes
with teetering mighty swing
bat smashing

when you drive by
neighbours lift their eyes, wave
they know you
and your family secrets too

abandoned shacks
linger in the forest
great place to sneak smokes

kids ride their bikes
on ancient cow paths
with hockey card spokes

this is home


  1. I love this. Great descriptions. You are definitely in your characters' minds!

  2. I love a country home in a country town! You captured it well in your words Ollie! :-)

  3. All the flaws and all the virtues. You nailed 'em.

  4. Very nice, the hockey card spokes, the cow paths , I remember it all...though so many years ago how...blessings...bkm

  5. After reading this, I wanted to visit your home, have the expreince drawn in here

  6. I think I know some of those same teenaged boys, and the places they sneak their smokes, too. (And so do my neighbors.) Well done.

  7. You vividly catch the whims of youngsters around us

  8. Beautifully told and I'm happy to read about it..give me city livin' mon...regardless of how weird it is..I thank God everyday for modern conveniences and hot running water.

  9. Such a descriptive piece - I can see everything you've shown me here. Nice One Shot, Ollie!

  10. fine descriptive passages, with a quirky edge. I would't have it any other way. Brilliantly written in my opinion. I don't often use the word 'brilliant'. You really conjured the place here. It's vivid it my mind, fresh like wet paint.

    Great read

    Luke @ WordSalad

  11. Vivid flashes of imagery give the full picture of the “country home” and the people in it -- beautifully done! I enjoyed the read.

  12. I live in the country and absolutely love this piece. Nice one shot. Love and Light, Sender

  13. Ah, small town life - you nailed it. Great line breaks, effective/excellent word choices - spare, not too wordy.


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